The Follow-Up Post (6 Months Later)

A Performative Show of Concern

The long answer: I met with the board of directors for Transformation Ministries in November 2018. Denise and Ginger were not present at the meeting, despite (as far as I know) actually being on the board. Their board consists of close friends, and in some cases, colleagues in the whole inner healing prayer/ ministry circle. In other words, people who have no way, or even interest in the ability, to be objective.

No Further Follow Up

If all of that had been followed up with actual actions on their part, it would have gone a long way to show me that they really do take people’s concerns seriously. As things stand, however, they have done nothing to my knowledge to put into action anything I said in that room in any way. I got a thank-you letter from them a month later, for attending the meeting and re-sharing everything I’d written in emails to them in person at the meeting…and for my input on practical solutions.

Written File Request: Unanswered

For my part, I tried to give Denise the benefit of the doubt. I have, at various times in my healing process, given consent for her to discuss my “case” with people who were playing a significant role in my life at that time, in case it would be helpful. If I had given consent for this, Transformation Ministries should have that consent form on file in writing. On December 26th, I sent a letter to Denise at Transformation Ministries via certified mail, formally requesting my ministry file. I requested any and all ministry notes from sessions, as well as any consent or release forms I had signed or revoked during the course of our 4-year ministerial relationship. I wanted to see for myself what I had consented to and/or revoked, in case I was missing something from a very emotionally-charged period of time in my life.

No Response from the Higher Ups

That same week I sent a copy of my original Medium post to Father Andrew Miller, the founder of the “Heartsync” method that Denise and Ginger teach and use in their ministry. I wanted him to have a chance to respond to the situation. I had 2 different addresses for him, so I sent a copy to both.

Only my child’s name and my then-current location are blacked out for privacy.

Nothing Has Changed, and Nothing Will Change

I worked with Into Account most of this time, and got feedback from them on all of the above mentioned steps I took. Into Account is a nonprofit organization that seeks to hold religious institutions accountable for abuse that occurs within religious contexts. They also offer support and resources for survivors. Into Account published a shortened version of my original Medium post on their blog, Our Stories Untold, on February 26, 2019. It got some Tweets and FB shares, as well as a handful of comments (which I appreciate), but as far as I know nothing has changed for Transformation Ministries at all.

The Personal Fallout

I experience the effects of what happened to me at the hands of this ministry every single day. I am in the middle of an intense bout of depression, and it makes functioning difficult.

The Silence of Friends

What I do want to say about all of it is this: one of the most painful things about making this story known publicly has not been the lack of response from Transformation Ministries themselves — that has hardly been surprising to me. After the initial shock and betrayal last summer when I tried to reach out to them directly, nothing else about their behavior has really surprised me all that much since then.

“The Only Thing That Matters”

The last sermon I listened to by Denise (which I can’t find a link to, anymore…maybe it was taken down?) which was sometime in December or January, contained one line in it that told me everything I need to know. She was a guest speaker somewhere or another, and was leading the audience in a guided meditation toward the end of her message. The idea she was conveying is that the only thing that matters is how God sees you.

Conclusion

I still don’t see Denise and Ginger as my enemies. But I do see their lack of willingness to listen to the cries of the people (plural — it’s not just me) they’ve harmed as a serious problem. One that will only lead to repeating that harm with more people, if they continue like this. Denise flat out says her mission in life is to “multiply” what she offers so that people who need ministry don’t have to sit on a waiting list until she is personally available. If their whole mission is to multiply, and there’s a whole bunch of hurting people that they’ve been sweeping under the rug, what exactly do you think is being multiplied? You can’t pick and choose.

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